evening, May 05^th, 1999

One of my friends is leaving

    Another friend is departing. My friends have been departing since 1991. They leave this country and go to USA, Canada, New Zealand, or to one of the African countries. They depart, and they never return. I saw him this afternoon, and it may be for the last time. He told me: "You know, Violeta, I wished this war less than anybody. But it is here and I have no idea when it will finish. Once it finishes, I still can see no perspective for our generation. I was thinking and I decided to leave. It is a risk to go, as I will lose my job here, but if I stay there is no job anywhere. It is a bigger risk to stay, for it is difficult now, and it will be even harder after the war. "He is about 25, has a diploma of School of Electrical Engineering, is pursuing his graduate studies, has a job, but he leaves all that, for he sees no future in this country. He will depart from this country in three days time, and I doubt I will ever see him again. He also said : "If something changes, if there happens to be any job and means of life in this country, I will return. But I can not stay now."

    I am 27, I also have a diploma of School of Electrical Engineering, I pursue my graduate studies, I have a job. I live at my parents, because my payment is enough only for pocket-money, and I am also very unsatisfied with the life I'm leading. I remain in this country, constantly lowering the margin under which I will not be able to live. In last three days there are electricity and water for few hours a day, but never in the same time. You can not buy anything. The shops aren't working due to lack of electricity. I go to work every day, but I have no idea when I will be paid... I Have thought that such a life is impossible, but I'm leading it because there is no other opportunity. I am lowering that unbearable margin, but I will not be able to do it indefinitely. I also think that I shall depart. This thought is still weaker than the wish to stay, but this lack of hope and perspective around me are about to strengthen it every day. There is a certain hope that holds me here. It is a hope that both sides in this war will realize that my country belongs to the Europe and to the World. My only hope is that this war will stop very soon (today), and that Europe will accept us tomorrow as its integral part. If this doesn't happen there will be no future for us.

    P.S. This text was written by hand in a New Belgrade house project, in the night, when there was no electric energy and so no light (there were some wax-candles). It was typed on the computer later.

Violeta
27 years, Telecommunications Engineer