March 27, 1999

"Women will hug the rocks..."
(or The Apocalypse Now)

    "The lightings will burn the sky, the great armies will clash and there will be no more males on this planet. The women will hug the rocks..."

    These words were supposedly written on the very beginning of human history, and they belong to one of the countless apocalyptic prophecies for Y2k. I don't know whether there will be the worldwide apocalypse, but now, unfortunately, I am sure that there will be the all-inclusive war in Yugoslavia on the beginning of 21st century.

    How else can one explain the decision to indict Milosevic for war crimes in a very moment when Chernomirdin's plane is landing in Belgrade with the peace plan? Milosevic deserves to go to jail, and that's a fact (Serbian people, in fact, would do him something much worse as a revenge for all that he did), but the timing of the indictment is more than disputable. To accuse Milosevic in this very moment means to crave for war. All the peace initiatives will be stopped, as Milosevic will surely not accept any diplomatic solution that may mean a suicide to him. And not only that they indicted Milosevic, they also accused five most powerful men in Serbia who were the only ones able to possibly take him down from his ruling place (especially the Army Supreme Commander, as the Army is very dissatisfied with Milosevic). This way, they are somehow united and no opportunity for the peaceful solution of the crisis will be allowed. The huge ground war is now the only option. Only God knows if the fire will spread and swallow the entire world.

    Who has most use of this war? The NATO in the whole surely not. Maybe one of the powerful groups in the USA? That's how it could be possible to explain "the mistake" with the Chinese Embassy, after which China has been blocking all the peace initiatives of G8 by using veto in the UN and also some other things (the very intensive bombing whenever the negotiators are in Belgrade). Who knows? In this war the logic has lost every sense it had.

    "The women will hug the rocks" - this sentence is hounting me all the time. I know that the all-inclusive war is going to be much worse than the one in Vietnam. What choice do I have at the moment? What choice do the young people (students) in general have? Should I run across the border while my family, my girlfriend and my friends are left here? If anyone of them dies I won't be able to live. Then the only solution will be to commit a suicide. On the other side, should I go to the front and die because of the mistakes of these cretins who have the power? Horrible! What have we done to deserve this? Just two years ago, a million people protested every day against the regime. Why didn't they help us then? It seems that Milosevic fits them so well that they are even able to bomb the people willing to remove him from the power. Hypocrites and poltrons! They are all the same. The great evil is in front of the world, and we are the ones who will pay the price.

    I will remind anyone who think that this is pessimistic on the following. We believed that there would be no bombing - it happened. Then we believed that it will be "symbolic" and short-term. Then they have started to beat the bridges down. We spoke: "Well, at least they are not going to mess with water and electricity". Who could believe that it will come to where we are now?

    What should I say in the end? That I will continue to live like I have the rest of my life in front of me? That I will study so I can take the exams when the university reopens? Whom am I kidding? How many people are going to survive this war? One of two? One of five? One of ten? Will 90% of people I am watching through the window right now die in a few years time?

    Fuck that. I am gonna get drunk with my buddies tonight while I still can. I must wish that nothing I wrote would turn to be true.

Mulder,
age 22